Attraction is a feeling. Love is a promise.

Love is a promise - Cover ver 1 - no LHS Marriage can be a satisfying and exciting life-journey for a man and a woman who love each other.  However, the significant number of divorced and separated persons indicates that there is a fundamental problem with their marriage preparation.

The dreaded phrases “I just don’t love you anymore” and “where has the love gone” are common among those who mistook their intense feelings of attraction as love.

Attraction is not love.  However, people can be forgiven for making this mistake, because the various love songs, novels, and movies promote the idea that when people share a mutual attraction for each-other, then they are in love.  Attraction is an emotional force that we can feel, while love is a promise to do four progressively challenging things.

Promise number 1 is to accept her exactly as she is right now, with everything that you know and do not know about her – and there is much that you do not know.

Promise number 2 is to accept everything about her as she ages – for better or worse, richer or poorer, health or sickness.

Promise number 3 is to forgive her.  Neither of you is perfect; therefore, you will both make mistakes, and you will both need to depend on each others’ forgiveness.

Promise number 4 is to encourage her.  This provides purpose for the marriage.

These promises are completed or consummated with sexual intercourse after they are formally made at your wedding.  If the promises are not completed, then the marriage can easily be annulled.  To demonstrate your intention to keep your promises, and not reject her for a younger and more shapely rival as she ages, you must restrain yourself from sexual intercourse until after you have formally made your promises.  If you are able to restrain yourself while your level of attraction is at its highest with her, then you show her that you are capable of resisting the future temptations that are certain to come from others.

The couple who is ready to make and keep their promises of love is ready to get married.  Spouses of those with no intention of keeping these promises endure a life sentence of misery.  Do not join them.

I wrote this, my sixth book, to help men and couples understand if they are ready to make and keep these promises.  The official web-site with discussions is linked here.  However, you may purchase the $8.00 book here or at Amazon.com here, which describes this brief summary in greater detail.

Best regards,

Grenville

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4 responses to “Attraction is a feeling. Love is a promise.

  1. Grenville
    Why don’t you stick with engineering nuh?
    You going and encourage nuff males and females now to go and expense themselves? You got lawyer friends…? Those are the only beneficiaries of marriage nowadays….

    As you say marriage is a contract between men and women..
    THEREIN lies your problem
    …..VERY few men
    …..Hardly any women

    Lots of brass bowl, questionable, sissy, males and warped females….
    Put them together and you are GUARANTEED trouble….

    When we find out what a MAN is
    …and what a WOMAN is….
    THEN we will understand marriage……

  2. Hi BushT:

    The evidence is that many responsible men marry irresponsible women, and vice versa. The book was written so that the responsible men can identify the responsible women before they marry, and vice versa.

    Best regards,
    Grenville

  3. marriage is like a house all necessary improvements are needed for proper upkeep……no sense in building a house if you can not afford to keep in in good condition….,,remodelling and refurbishing means money and time spent and guaranteed good results..,,not everybody can afford to have a house the same theory applies to marriage,and for those who cannot they should stay to hell away from marriage,,,,,,

  4. Hi AC:

    I do not think that money is required for a good marriage. Couples can be in abject poverty but still have wonderful marriages. Marriage problems normally start when one party stops trying.

    Best regards,
    Grenville

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